Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
