he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
