Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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