I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
