I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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