you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
