his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize