Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
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