yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
