I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
