and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I want a musical about memes.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
