my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
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