its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
When are your genitals available?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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