it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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