Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
