you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
