the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
