His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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