nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
