Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My vagina is very pro this idea
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
