Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize