every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I've blown a few things in my day
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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