this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize