I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
