I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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