i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
