hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
