Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
