My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
