So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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