two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
