Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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