My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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