do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
