omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
