This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
