just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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