I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize