Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
