okay pat passed out under dana's car
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
