I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize