I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
