do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
