The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
