I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
