Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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