jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
