Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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