It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
