I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
