I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
