I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he was CRYING into my vagina
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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