just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
no. you can't hotbox the world.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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