Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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