I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
