he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
