mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
