Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
