Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
