K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
