i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
