What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We left an ass print on the piano.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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