Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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